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Please Make a Donation

1. Seal all doors and windows and fill with milk
2. make every room a kitchen
3. invite 10 architects to change the lightbulbs
4. replace the smell of freshly baked bread with burnt toast
5. (if rural) install large neon “Baboon Disco” to the exterior
6. (if urban)encourage fungal growth both inside and out
7. every 12 hrs invite someone new to co-habit
8. put it on wheels
9. replace the front door handle with a vibrator
10. never dispose of used tissues
11. rebuild it in Venice
12. give it masts and sails
13. make it a public library
14. reduce the scale of all internal furnishings by 2%
15. install gargoyles on the gables
16. run a motorway through it
17. flatten every building that surrounds it within a 20km radius
18. encourage subsidance
19. rent it out to an obscure sect
20. bathe it in UV lights to expose its dandruff
21. turn it into a hatchery for rare moths
22. tell the police it’s a drugs factory
23. paint the doorsteps with nail varnish
24. turn it into a giant game of jenga
25. invite a TV company to expose it to public ridicule
26. bury it in compost and water regularly
27. turn it into a creche without adult supervision
28. advertise it for sale at eight times its market value
29. add a new storey every 9 months
30. exchange the chimneys for bell-towers
31. replace the radiators with fish tanks
32. make every nook and cranny a breeding place for germs
33. put cardboard replicas of dead celebrities in every window
34. turn one gable end into a ski slope
35. lose it in a game of cards
36. hire an orchestra to replace the doorbell
37. cut a hole through the wall where the bathroom mirror used to be – into the house next door
38. install a continuous sound loop of breaking crockery
39. stop paying the electricity bills
40. if it has a staircase – remove it
41. if it has no staircase – install several
42. amplify the low hum emitting from the fridge
43. hack Google Earth and put a black dot where your home should be
44. raffle the entire contents
45. lie about its age
46. charge people to enter
47. excavate the living-room floor to a depth of 50cm and fill with sump-oil
48. make every room -40º
49. leave and never return
50. …(Your suggestion here)…

This Exercise was Contributed by Stephen Brandes.

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